Emotional Intelligence in our Relations

http://sex-soul.com/2016/08/05/espanol-la-inteligencia-emocional-de-las-relaciones/

Emotional Intelligence in our Relation

Dácil Rodríguez, Emotion

Emotional Intelligence plays a decisive role in the labor, social, family and intimate interaction. It can even become more important than IQ in determining success.

“The individuality is not an end in itself.. It is something that bears fruit through contact with the world, and in the process out of its isolation, If we keep our individuality in a glass case, withers. It is enriched instead, when it flows freely through human contact.

                                                                                                                                        “Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)

People with low emotional intelligence, have difficulties, “problems” and blocks when have relations, as they have to develop or integrate certain behaviors and habits from themselves, learning to manage their emotions and therefore to understand and comprehend the others ones.

There are some indicators to determine if you lack such skills, so it is important that there is sincerity and honesty when it comes to identify with phrases, and that result will not be alarmed, simply shows what areas must focus and work helping or leaning on a professional:

– “You feel misunderstood and you understand that others do not strive enough for understanding you, causing you exasperate which is quite irritating and annoying.”

People with low emotional intelligence remain alien to the feelings from others.

They do not understand how others feel, but at the same time feel misunderstood and that makes frequently discussed, being in most of cases what motivates them to confrontation with other, is the feeling of incomprehension.

What moves under the cloak of misunderstanding that leads them to conflict with the other, is ignorance, they do not know how to express their emotions, channeling in the form of anger, rage and anger, which leads to complex social situations with frequent “outbursts”.

– “The others tend to take everything in a tremendous way, everything affects them, they are too weak and you do not”.

Lack of empathy allows them to remain little insensitive and act appropriately, considering people with whom they relate “too sensitive and weak.”

Since they could not interpret the reaction of the other, they act erratically and inappropriate, creating or complicating conflicts and giving rise to misunderstandings. This inability is accentuated to the extent that the emotional component is present showing often overly pessimistic and critical of others’ feelings.

– “I can not stand to cry, hate arguing, but they force you to do People exaggerate and do not know how to control and when that happens or you see it coming, you just leave.”.

Strong Emotions are a real obstacle that usually avoid at all costs. However, running away is not always possible and in situations of tension, burst into uncontrollable emotional outbursts disproportionate, as there is no proper management of their true emotions.

– “You give everything and you demand the same, but nobody give it to you.”

They feel as Victims and that “victimhood” complicating their relations further because they do not recognize what the real reason for their problems, giving, always, the responsibility to the other.

– “You are very sensitive and everything affects you.”

Paradoxically, people with low emotional intelligence consider themselves sensitive people, because in their role of victim, suffer and suffer, carrying the emotional weight of not properly manage their emotions.

In some cases, this sensitivity takes the turn of hypersensitivity, which has nothing to do with the high sensitivity and highly sensitive people (HSP).

– “.. Your partner is sometimes absent. It is in body, but you know it is not with you. It does not pay you attention it is elsewhere and you don´t feel reciprocated.”

Their need to work on their emotions makes them create ties of dependency, reaching displayed upset that the other does not reach the level of demand: it is not available, not immediately answer your calls, do not cover your needs and thus reacting with excessive vulnerability.

Relationships thrive on emotional reciprocity; a continuous give and receive; listening skills, sharing emotions and empathy. The more intimate a relationship becomes, they join to it other skills like compassion or ability to support.

The intimate sphere of relations becomes, therefore, in an emotional Everest, taking the sense of exhausting their forces in an attempt to reach its summit.

However, it is possible, through the exercise of one’s will and guidance of a professional, to achieve to manage your emotions and establish healthy intimate relationships.

Copyright © Dácil Rodríguez - All rights reserved.
Dácil Rodríguez

Writer & Psychologist 

Natural from Santa Cruz de Tenerife, Spain

Author of book: Where is the man of my life?